Posted by
Lucas J. Boy on Thursday, December 04, 2008 3:08:19 PM
In record pace, the Obama Cabinet is taking shape. The reviews thus far are mixed. There already have been grumblings from the Far Left which is beginning to ask— finally— who is this guy we voted for? Wingnuts on the Right had cynically warned all along that Mr. Obama was a cipher, an ideologue by day on the campaign trail and an all-too-typical politician (despite Barry’s claims to the contrary) in the wee hours strategy sessions behind closed doors. On the other hand, some conservatives are gushing with hope— the more cautious and skeptical would say a misplaced hope— that the “Change” candidate, it would appear, is a centrist after all. Is Obama committed only to His own grandness and legacy? Or is he completely clueless? Who really knows?
We do know that Barack Obama has stated repeatedly that he intended to appoint imposing personalities with strong opinions, including those whose views disagreed with his own. He is said to prefer a dynamic cadre of rival advisors (a la Abraham Lincoln) to a monolith of sycophants. To that end, Obama has even pledged to appoint Republicans to his administration.
When president-elect Obama introduced his national security team— seasoned Clinton-era personalities and one incumbent Republican, Bob Gates— earlier this week, there was one man conspicuously absent from the press conference. To have introduced this particular gentleman as his Special Counselor to the President (with Cabinet standing) would have stunned friends and foes alike. Later in the day there were already rumors circulating that this mysterious appointee had missed the ceremony due to heart palpitations.
Late that night I received a mysterious phone call from someone identifying himself only as Deep Anal Orifice whose voice had been modulated. Sounding not unlike Darth Vader, the caller informed me that a certain Richard Cheney had been named as Mr. Obama’s Special Counselor to the President. In stunned disbelief I managed to ask, “Do you mean to say Obama picked Dick Cheney?” I was told, yes, that was indeed the case. The garbled voice on the other end hastened to add that people in the Obama camp were being instructed to exclusively refer to this particular appointee as Richard Cheney in hopes that the vast number of Obama supporters, woefully uninformed, would never make the connection.
“But why”, I persisted, “would Obama ever want a Dick Cheney in his Cabinet?” The caller chastened, “Ah ah, that’s Richard Cheney, remember?” Mr. Orifice went on to explain that Barry’s plan was to listen earnestly to any advice Dick Cheney had to offer and then, automatically, do the exact opposite. Governance by reverse psychology. As inexperienced, as out of his depth as the young Man-Child is, this cockamamie scheme might just work.