In today’s financial turmoil, many sectors of our economy are hurting. Even some recession-proof industries like prostitution are suffering a downturn. The term “bailout” has been— hopefully not forever— seared into our national consciousness and woven into our modern vernacular. Without bailouts, it would appear that some industries might even go the way of the “horse and buggy” (like print media, for example, if failing newspapers around the country are any indication).

However, not all is doom and gloom. Wal-Mart, lauded by the right and reviled by the left, continues to do well. Micky D’s is also hanging in there. Bakeries continue to bake bread (although buying a loaf may someday require a wheelbarrow full of bank notes if the Fed keeps madly creating fiat money en mass).

Thanks to one brave, courageous “visionary”, I suspect another industry has been miraculous saved from slumping sales and the prospect of failure. I’m referring to the Iraqi journalist and one lucky post-Saddam patriot, Muntadhar al-Zeidi, who, perhaps, single-handedly has saved the shoe-maker industry. And maybe, just maybe, the entire global economy.

What, at first, appeared to be an isolated incident of freedom of expression by one sole (pun intended) privileged Iraqi citizen who, ironically, was afforded such freedom by the very guy— his arch enemy (again, pun intended) — who he was aiming his shoe missiles at— this very same practice of “projectile dissent” has begun to catch on big time. Reports are coming in daily now from around the world of various protestors taking up Mr. Al-Zeidi’s mantle, while taking off their own shoes to fling at some perceived oppressor or tyrant or government official somewhere or another. The World Court in The Hague has agreed to review a case where the mayor of Rotterdam is alleging he was recently the victim of a hate crime since the dissident Dutchman who assailed him had used wooden shoes, essentially, weaponized footwear.

So, it would seem, we are witnessing a planetary “booty call”, as it were.

It’s just a matter of time before malcontents (read: loony leftists) in this country will adopt this powerfully symbolic and visceral expression of dissent.  In fact, some anti-Prop 8 activists have already employed this tactic but with little impact thus far due to the use of soft-leather loafers and the fact that most of them throw like girls (except, notably, one bull dike southpaw the New York Mets are taking a look at).

This world-wide shoe mania is the very economic stimulus Obama has been looking for and can only bode well for shoe manufactures who will be rushing to meet the new demand for shoes as millions around the globe begin hurling footwear willy-nilly whenever they feel alienated or just pissed off and feel like pitching a hissy fit. Already shoe companies are anticipating huge surges in the demand for stiletto heels and steel-toed work books, in particular. Word on the street has it that Richard Reid, the convicted shoe bomber, is working from within the confines of the Big House on a deal to set up his own shoe-wear company whose slogan is reported to be “Get More Bang From Your Bucks©”.

This revival of the shoe industry will have residual effects as well. It is likely to be a boon to landfill contractors who will have to find additional room for billions of metric tons of discarded shoes, boots and sandals. Cattle ranchers and leather tanneries will no doubt benefit. Maybe even podiatrists if the well-heeled— damn those puns! — keep switching shoes with wild and reckless abandon.

Furthermore, it’s rumored that Fisher-Price® is about to unveil a new game, Shoe Toss™, targeted for the pre-school set where toddlers can score points by throwing little soft rubber shoes at each other. This must be seen as one of those “investments” in our future that Obama is always talking about, producing an entire new generation of shoe-chuckers, and guaranteeing that our economy will continue to be stimulated into prosperity for decades to come.

Thank Allah for one brave and faithful servant and small miracles.