Even if these ideologues, bucking the natural order, could realize their utopian dream, such an artificially-contrived society would still be unsustainable. Modern physics may shed some light in this regard. While there’s a predisposed drive in Nature to produce evolutionary change and to express novelty—in a word, to create life—there’s also another countervailing urge that strives toward stasis and death. Physicists refer to this cosmic impulse as entropy.

The idea is that there is an ineluctable tug toward an entropic state where energy becomes increasingly dissipated and more and more useless to effect change. The amount of energy in a system is constant and cannot be destroyed; but the state of that energy changes over time, becoming more and more spatially uniform and, lacking a differential, increasingly unable to perform work. Entropy can be resisted or slowed down—but it requires the expenditure of work. (Your bedroom, normally neat and well-organized, will in time become a chaotic mess if left unattended, if not for your daily effort to tidy things up. Without work on your part, the highly organized pattern of your room becomes one big undifferentiated clump of cluttered sameness.)

Physicists theorize that our universe may eventually experience what’s known as heat death. Over the course of eons, entropy would ultimately reduce everything—every single particle of matter—to a constant temperature of Absolute Zero. There would no longer be a heat gradient, no more exchange of energy, and there would, therefore, no longer be any movement possible. No possibilities whatsoever. It would be an utterly static and perfectly uniform world devoid of the slightest hint of vitality, an inactive wasteland frozen forever. (At least all the little molecules would be “happy” molecules because—at last—everything would be fair and perfectly equal.)

I submit that the Marxist utopian society would eventually suffer a fate similar to heat death. At first, the process would be gradual, with the “poor” being increasingly disinclined to work, knowing their needs would be met by the efforts of others. The more productive members of society would gradually lose their motivation to produce, knowing that the fruits of their creativity and hard work would be taken from them and disbursed among the “less fortunate”. Eventually this leveling process would result in a “classless society”. But it would be an impoverished, drab and languid one. In a mundane sense, people would still have to work and move about—people still have to eat—but the vitality and truly creative energies of such a “utopia” would gradually dissipate into dullness and eventually cease to exist. (Examine any Marxist regime of the twentieth century and you’ll see glimmers of this negative dynamic.)

As life plays out, there inevitably will be “winners” and “losers”, the gifted and the handicapped, laborers and deadbeats. There will always be the “rich” and “poor”—relative and ill-defined terms, at best. (Consider that most of America’s “poor” have a car, a cell phone, a computer and, in some cases, a plasma TV.) It is what it is. In a fallen world, there will inevitably be injustices; and these must be rectified. But creating “heaven on earth” by fiat, by technocrats mandating the equality of all outcomes, is specious and unattainable. Jesus certainly recognized and sympathized with the plight of the disenfranchised; but he also acknowledged the nature of this world when he stated, “the poor you will always have with you”. Paul confirmed this same reality when he issued his edict to the early church: “he who doesn’t work doesn’t eat”. Again, it takes work to sustain civilization and to stall the relentless and destructive advance of entropy.

The answer is ordinary people helping people, not enlightened elitists erecting a cumbersome, fabricated social structure that is doomed to fail because it stubbornly refuses to recognize the nature of reality. God has mandated that His church minister to the needs of the poor and the genuinely unfortunate. This is accomplished through charitable enterprise at the community level as God’s love is expressed by and through individuals. The notion that sovereign Man, with his central planning and bloated bureaucracies and by the imposition of a contrived collective, can do better is tragically absurd.

You can take ‘em out of the ghetto but you can’t, I guess, take the ghetto out of these malcontents—even Harvard “scholars”. I mean, the brotha’s even got a street name. The indignant victim “Skip”, by day normally a mild-mannered, urbane and cultured intellectual, suddenly devolves to street thug with bona fide creds, lapsing into sloppy jive slang, railing “yooze don’t know whooze yooze messin’ wit” and “I’ze talk to yo mama, outside”. If his Harvard students could hear him now.

A reasonable person of any ethnic persuasion normally complies with a policeman’s request to see some identification, especially when a concerned neighbor thought your home might be in the process of being burgled by—it turns out—well, you. Had “Skip” displayed a modicum of his Ivy League refinement and calmly explained the embarrassing situation to the hapless police who had only been called to the scene in response to a routine 911 call, there never would have been the brouhaha that ensued. But no, the professor’s knee-jerk reaction was to play the race card and to become in-your-face belligerent, doing his best to impersonate hoodlum Biggie Smalls and creating such a ruckus that a crowd gathered outside to see what all the fuss was about. (The police reports are posted at Smoking Gun’s website.) So the recalcitrant academic was arrested, by the book, for disorderly conduct. Good. Too bad the Cambridge police department later buckled under PC pressure, kowtowing to Al Sharpton’s shakedown, and dropped the charges.

But that wasn’t the end of this sordid affair. It took Mr. Gates less than 24 hours to approach PBS in hopes of brokering a deal to produce a new documentary, this one on racial profiling in Amerika. His daughter is already on the stump, being interviewed on CBS’s The Early Show by the concerned, guilt-ridden and sappy Harry Smith who practically oozed empathy from his pores. And then, ditching His presidential persona, our beloved “post-racial” president, unscripted and instinctively reverting into “community agitator” mode, managed to weigh in during his prime-time press conference. Though admitting “Skip” was His homie and that He didn’t know all the facts of the case, that didn’t stop Barack “Barry” Obama—He’s got a street name, too!—from condemning the Cambridge police officers for acting “stupidly”. This was reminiscent of Representative John Murtha indicting our servicemen in Haifa as “murderers” before he, or anybody else, knew the facts. It took a court, following the legal process of discovery, to uncover those facts—and to exonerate the Marines of the trumped-up charges.

At least Obama’s untoward, precipitous comments about the Gates incident managed to spice up His otherwise dull and pedantic press conference. He seemed much more exorcised over the egregious “travesty” suffered by a brotha, while appearing to be bored with the tedious chore of selling His snake oil to an ever-growing dubious audience.

Perhaps, before the August recess, Congress could get in the act as well and pass legislation that would completely exempt all African-Americans from, for starters, abiding by speed limit laws (unlike the rest of us). This bold initiative—they could call it The Rodney King Act—would simply confirm and codify what multiculturalism and sensitivity training have already taught us: that anytime any black under any circumstances is pulled over by a traffic cop, they are ipso facto victims of racial profiling and liable to be beaten to within an inch of their life, and therefore deserving of special protections benevolently granted by the pantheon on Capitol Hill.

Thank goodness our magnanimous Dear Leader has led us, finally, to the “post-racial” Promised Land.

Seems our beloved Barry has a thing for hot sauce. Amazing when you consider the First Cool Cucumber never seems to break a sweat—unless His teleprompter stalls. A contributor at Big Hollywood recently was soliciting from the viewers possible brand names for the various hot sauces enjoyed by Mr. Obama. On good authority, here’s some of Barack’s favorites—all discovered in the White House pantry:

• Uncle Joe’s Soviet-Style Red Sauce—enjoyed by Commies worldwide for more than eighty years!

• Colonel “El Jeffe” Obama’s Stimulatin’ Hot Sauce—guaranteed to make you sweat more than the national debt! 

• Zelayla’s Zesty Honduran-Style Hot Sauce—guaranteed to foment revolution in Latin America and in your gastro-intestinal tract!

• Chef Algore’s “Green” Tomatilla Sauce—it’s globally warmed! It’s HOT and getting hotter every time the Gore family turns on their lights!

• Slick Willy’s Arkansas-Style Hoochie-Coochie Hot Sauce—cures ED and facilitates date-rape!

• Mohammed’s Fermented & Fomented Jihadist Juice—a hot sauce guaranteed to get your Muslim blood boiling! And it’s halal-certified.

• Old El Pelosi Hot Sauce—a CIA favorite! (But Madame Speaker still insists they’re lying.)

• 'Bamster's Original “Banana Republic” Hot Sauce—goes great with those fried plantains!

• Saul Alinsky's Chicago-Style Hot Sauce—it's rad! (Warning: may agitate your stomach.)

• Timmy Geithner's “Toxic Assets” Brew—so hot, it's guaranteed to burn a whole in your gut and in the Treasury!

• Barry's Bitchin’ Bailout Bayou Blend—a hot sauce brewed in the swamp for a quagmired economy!

• Reverend Jeremiah's “God#@%, That's Hot!” Sauce—so hot, whitey, you'll look forward to burning in Hell!

• Grandpa Obama's Kickin' Kenyan Hot Sauce—don't forget to serve it the next time you sacrifice a goat to The One!

• Sotomayor's Santeria-Style Special Hot Sauce—that fiery magical elixir for when you're in the hot seat and need to appear more conservative than Clarence Thomas!

• Rahm Emmanuel's “%#@*!&#?^<*$#!#@%#!!!!!!!! 'n” Hothead Sauce—goes great with foul!

• Barack’s Sizzlin’ “Campaign” Hot Sauce (FDA warning: bottles are empty except for media-approved hot air. EPA warning: excessive hot air could melt the polar ice caps.)

• ACORN’s Flamin’ “Flim-Flam” Hot Sauce—the perfect condiment when you’re out stealing votes!

• Hillary’s “Naughty” Combustible Hot Sauce—one drop and you, too, will explode and start swearing like a sailor!

• Planned Parenthood’s Scalding Hot Sauce—delicious! AND can be used as an abortifiant (even better than saline solution!).

• Kim Jong Ill’s “Goin’ Nuclear” Hot Sauce—too hot even for Barry Obama!

• Sarah Palin’s REALLY HOT Sauce (Warning: after ingesting, liberals have been known to experience psychotic episodes.)

• Jumpin’ Joe Biden’s “Hot Foot” Hot Sauce—perfect for those times when you put your foot in your mouth and want to add a little spice. (Warning: side effects include goofiness, a pronounced tendency to tell “whoppers” and, in extreme cases, may lead to diarrhea of the mouth.)

• NEW from Sarah Palin’s kitchen, Alaskan “Caliente Caribou” Hot Sauce—your PETA friends will love it! (Tip: try serving it with stuffed PETA pockets!)

• Benny Netanyahu’s Kickin’ Kosher Hot Sauce—next time try a little on your Gaza Strip steak! (NOTE: this is the one hot sauce President Obama reportedly detests.)

• Hezbollah’s “Exploding Camel” Hot Sauce—perfect for when you suicide bombers need to muster a little more courage! Enjoy it while it lasts (because you won’t).

• Bernadette Dorhn’s Incendiary Hot Sauce—even better than C4 when you want to take down a federal building!

• Michelle Obama’s Piqued Picante Sauce—blended with bitter herbs grown in her White House garden!

• Blathering Bab’s “Blazing Bilge” Hot Sauce—the perfect condiment for when you’re hosting Hollywood parties attended by bilious ticked-off celebs! (Alec, Sean, Matt and Janeane all swear by it.)

• Chef Algore’s Fearsome “Methane Mash” Globally-Heated Hot Sauce—threatens to raise your body temperature by 30 degrees by the end of the century! AND, before tax, only $2.95 a bottle! (Disclaimer: after tax, $502.95 per bottle.)

• Havana’s “Tropical Swelter” Habanero Chili Sauce—it’s kept Fidel alive this long! (It sure wasn’t Cuba’s “world-class” health care system.)

• Perez Hilton’s “Flaming Gay” Hot Sauce—adds bite when you’re dissing beauty queens!

• Joe Wilson’s Nigerian “Yellow Cake” JuJu Sauce—guaranteed to ignite the anti-war crowd and inflame the already rabid Bush-bashers!

• Napolitano’s “Pyric Paranoia” Picante Sauce—a favorite among liberals wary of ordinary Americans! (DHS WARNING to all conservatives: “The heat is on”.)

• Fanny Mae’s Hot “Magma Meltdown” Sauce—makes a great fire accelerant when you’re facing foreclosure and want to torch your house!

• Mahmoud’s Vaporizing Radioactive “Enriched Eruption” Hot Sauce—savored by the peace-loving Iranians of Tehran! A little goes a long way toward ensuring that explosive blast of flavor! Allahu Akbar!

• Hugo Chavez’s Boiling “Caldera de Revolución” Chili Pepper Sauce—guaranteed to ward off Third World insurrectile dysfunction! Bring your nation to an insurrecting boil with Hugo’s delectable inferno!

• Direct from the Lolo Soetero Family Recipe Book, Indonesian “Bali Blaster” Hot Sauce—the perfect primer for blowing up infidel luxury resorts!

• Obama’s Special Edition “Public Option” Hot Sauce—being rushed into production, folks, just in time. It will cure everything from the common cold to degenerative hip joints to cancer! (It better.) AND it works as an anesthesia so you won’t care one way or another.

• Tired of all the hot sauces? Try something really mild. Try the new Obama’s Nuclear-Lite Sauce. But hurry, inventories might not last.

I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling a bout of indigestion coming on.

For decades now we’ve been listening to feminists caterwauling, ominously warning, “Keep your hands off; it’s my body”! But where’s their angst and hand-wringing over ObamaCare as the Obama regime attempts to nationalize our very bodies? They have conniptions over the prospect of lawmakers limiting their unlimited access to abortion but seem oblivious to the very real prospect of some anonymous bureaucrat determining what’s best—what’s “cost effective” —for their general welfare in terms of overall health care. Do they really believe that some remote cog in a bloated, inefficient government apparatus can better prognosticate their health concerns and determine curative strategies better than they can themselves? That some government official is more qualified to prescribe health care measures than their own doctor? I guess they’re satisfied that the health care legislation now being crafted would promote tax payer-funded abortion, the only issue that really matters. (Besides, aborting a “preemie” is much more “cost effective” than applying the medical technology to bring the baby to term.)

ObamaCare, with its insidious ant-life undertones, is not about health. No more than Cap & Trade is about saving the environment. Both these bold and dubious initiatives are about centralizing power at the expense of our individual freedoms. Crippling the private sector is a desired “good” in the fever-pitched march toward the Left’s utopian dream of creating Heaven on Earth. Rahm Emmanuel and Barack Obama have glimpsed The Promised Land and really think they can pull it off—even though no other society in human history has been able to do so. (On the other hand, Obama is The One, after all.)

The feminists are willing to suspend their rant over the sovereignty of their precious bodies in order to fall into lock-step with their jive-talkin’ Dear Leader and His vision for the future (as long as abortion rights are safeguarded—not much to worry about there with Obama occupying the Oval Office). This is not the first time feminism’s rank hypocrisy has been on bold display. When serial rapist Bill Clinton was exploiting the power of high office, taking advantage of an intern about the same age as Chelsea, the silence from the feminist quarter was deafening. Any queasiness on the part of liberated women was trumped by the fact Slick Willy was an unabashed champion of abortion, the Holy Grail and raison d'être of the movement.

All this raises an interesting philosophical question: who owns your body? Most Americans, I suspect, hold the notion that they own their own bodies. Certainly the Libertarians would argue so. This is in keeping with the spirit of American individualism and is anathema to collectivist sensibilities. Christians have a different—and valid—take on the issue: they believe that it is God Almighty who owns our bodies. We are created for God’s pleasure, not necessarily our own. But, regardless, I think it’s safe to say most Americans would agree that the government decidedly does not own their bodies. As ObamaCare looms, let’s hope so.

Yes, that’s right. I want to confess my hate crime.

A few days ago I shamelessly forwarded to a few friends a photo of our president appearing to be casting a lustful eye toward a passing derriere in a crowd. As a red-blooded All-American heterosexual, I found the president's glance completely understandable. (I empathized—to use a liberal buzz word now in currency—with our president.) In that one fleeting moment, I bonded with Barack Obama in a very special way (even though I rarely bond with Barry otherwise). I was standing shoulder-to-shoulder, mano-a-mano, with my president, embracing our common manhood. Or so I thought.

But now I find out from MSNBC that I was part of a right-wing smear campaign to embarrass our president, that I was promoting a “racist stereotype of an oversexed black man being a predator.” Yep. I confess. That's exactly what I was thinking when I first saw the rather whimsical photo. Salivating at the prospect, I could not wait to pass the photo along in my crusade to fuel racial hatred in this country.

MSNBC went on to declare that millions of right-wing nutters (such as myself, apparently) were gleefully coming up with all sorts of hate-filled and racist captions for the now-controversial photo. Let the record show that my caption—really more a thought balloon springing from Obama’s orbicular head—was: “Drill for oil? No way! But I wouldn't mind tapping that!”

One could deduce from my mildly salacious caption that I was merely indicating a salient reality about men—all men, not just “predatory” black men: we—I’m speaking now for the heterosexual community—like women! If there was any bias against Barack Obama, I was simply poking fun at his stubborn refusal to pursue a comprehensive energy policy which included domestic drilling.

However, if one were to deduce such relatively benign motivations from my clever little caption, one would be wrong because The Oracle, MSNBC, has so declared.

So I humbly apologize to Dear Leader.

(In my defense, it takes a big man to admit when he’s wrong.)

As an intriguing footnote, there's a new theory emerging about the incident in L'Aquila. Alas, if this new interpretation of events were to turn out to be true, it would still not help my case. That’s the beauty of prosecuting a hate crime: you can, by divining—get out the goat entrails—the guilty party’s innermost thoughts, still nail the miscreant on intent even if the circumstantial evidence tends to exonerate. In any event, experts have analyzed the video and theorize that Barack's downward glance is better explained by the stick of chewing gum he'd clumsily dropped on the pavement. It's not inconceivable. After all, he was only bending over to pick up yet another stick of gum which he'd fumbled when he met the Saudi Prince. And some people actually thought he'd bowed in deference to the Islamic potentate!