There was just something special about watching all those Democrats, leftist lemmings being drawn by the ineffable, filled with unease and dread of the numinous as they entered uncharted waters, yet stalwartly filing in and filling the pews of a church on Saturday; special in the same sense observing a total eclipse of the sun is special—it does happen; but only very occasionally.

Still, it was very moving to witness the faithful flocking together for a memorial service to bid farewell to their recently-fallen martyr and saint. Especially touching was the cavalcade of Saint Teddy’s grandchildren—it’s a big clan and there were a lot of them—as they bravely, in holy succession, stepped up to the lectern, young foot soldiers for the cause, prepared to read from the cue cards previously printed up and distributed by the DNC diocese. How courageous were these little acolytes as they came forth in service to the One True Universal Faith (Progressivism, that is—not Catholicism—much less universal Christendom)!

It’s true Jesus once said something about “suffer the little ones to come unto me”. But I wonder if even Jesus on His exalted Throne in Heaven wasn’t literally suffering—at least wincing just a bit—at the spectacle. I know it pained me.

You do have to hand it to those devout Democrats, though. They know how to shamelessly politicize just about any occasion, no matter how sacred or solemn. In the case of the service on Saturday, to their credit, these good liberals appropriated what wasn’t theirs, the religious trappings and church surroundings, and made them their own, subordinating Catholic traditions to suit the needs of their own religion. And, even more amazing, these True Believers seemed to be able to pull it off with nary an outcry from the irreligious press about separation of church and state. It’s curious, then, that so many of them continue to deny the miraculous (even when it happens in their own midst).

Frankly, I'm surprised the youthful mourners weren't conscripted into a more overt pageantry of ecclesiastical service, lighting candles and incense while wearing the sacred vestments, gilded sandwich boards promoting TeddyCare. What next? With their religious zeal rekindled, will the Democrat devotees go fundamentalist and start enlisting juvenile suicide bombers, sending them into fractious town hall meetings? What better training for the day when they'll be old enough to join the ranks of Colonel Obama's genuine paramilitary infrastructure, the domestic Civilian Defense Force—the one The Commissar, Himself, said should be as well-organized and well-funded as our military?

During the service, with each poignant remembrance brought to mind by family and loved ones, the gathered congregation was enjoined to bestow approbation by responding out loud in unison with the words, “Lord, hear our prayer”. One woman was overheard whispering to her neighbor, “Don’t they mean ‘Lord, yes we can’?” To be fair, a lot of these folks are a little rusty when it comes to the nuances of religious affirmation and traditions. That, and Holy Communion—appropriately, red Kool-Aid—had been served just before.

Bless their hearts, these big goofy oafs try their damnedest to practice the fine art of subterfuge—they really do. They’re ushered into assembly halls via the backdoor or through basement windows as stealth commandos. Another sneaky tactic they employ is to simply show up for a scheduled town hall meeting several hours early to not only pack the house but to do so in a way that, hopefully, won’t be noticed. So far so good.

But then, on other occasions, they go and blow their cover by showing up en mass in a fleet of chartered buses. In an age when everyone’s cell phone doubles as a camera, the arrival of these invading armadas is easily documented. What’s even worse, they all show up—for instance, at Representative Tim Bishop (D)’s town hall meeting in Farmingville, New York—wearing their identical bright red Ban-Lon shirts with the local union insignia prominently displayed. I guess solidarity is everything to these members of the proletariat. But the problem is they stick out like a sore thumb. As I viewed video footage of the event in Long Island, the crowd was peppered with roving bands of operatives wearing their bright red shirts. Nothing says “grassroots” like a visible marching army in full dress uniform. The only thing missing were armbands and nifty helmets fashioned to look like ACORNS.

(By the way, this was the same Tim Bishop who had scheduled one of his previous meetings with his constituents at the local SEIU union hall. Ballsy.)

Maybe these labor dudes need to brush up on the Che Guevara Field Manuel issued to them by Organizing For Obama—er, Organizing For America—in order to learn better how to blend in with the enemy. If you want to avoid the charge of Astroturffing, next time you might want to show up in separate cars and wearing your street clothes.

Christians worldwide, long concerned for Barry Obama, their wayward fellow pilgrim in the faith, are now rejoicing! Some have even gone so far as to kill the fatted calf to celebrate the prodigal’s return to the fold. For it turns out Brother Barry will finally be attending a church service this Saturday. In fact, Reverend Barack will actually be delivering the scheduled fiery sermon which, reportedly, will call down hellfire and brimstone upon the heads of unruly town hall mobsters. Along with the righteous Revered One, congregants attending Boston's The First Church of St. Paul Wellstone will be celebrating the life, death, resurrection and recent assumption of one of their own, Saint Teddy, patron of imbibing, debauchery and extreme swimming. In the past these religious gatherings—normally quite rare for these materialists and secularists—have been known to get pretty rowdy “in the Spirit”. (Screw down the chandeliers and carpet the aisles.) In fact, under the unction and inspiration of O's Oily Spirit, expect some of these liberal fundamentalists to start speaking in forked-tongues.

It’s always entertaining to witness outraged liberals playing make-believe, pretending to actually be principled. With the release of new documents detailing CIA interrogation abuses in questioning detainees, Oprahesque liberal angst is spiking into the red again. Claiming the lofty moral high ground, these bed-wetters—hey, if our intellectual president can say people get “all wee-weed up” then I’m comfortable with my descriptive noun—anyway, these sensitive effete whiners moralistically chasten the rest of us Neanderthals for failing to uphold America’s highest ideals. Well, if I lived in the same imaginary, utopian world which deluded liberals tend to think they inhabit, I too could be idealistic. In such a world—if it existed—this discussion would be moot. There would be no hand-wringing over detainee abuses because there would be no detainees.

Besides, compared to those Islamo-fascist dudes, our interrogators are a bunch of spineless pikers. We may threaten to kill some jihadist psychopath’s kids if he doesn’t sing; but we would never carry out the threat. Unlike Abdul or Hakeem, we don’t actually sever our prisoner’s heads. And if we did, we wouldn’t film the bloody affair and broadcast it to the entire world for popular consumption. The liberal mind just can’t seem to grasp the reality of evil or the salient fact that we are at war with fundamentalists who want to kill a bunch of us infidels. I may not go so far as to say that “all’s fair in love or war”. But let’s at least recognize that those are both grey areas. Desperate times may call for desperate measures and certain idealistic values may need to be tarnished for the greater good. (Funny; moral relativists—that is to say, liberals—normally love situational ethics.) So reality, at times, can be messy. By plotting the assassination of Hitler, Bonheoffer violated one of his own values. But, to his spiritually-informed mind, doing nothing would have been even more immoral. I wonder what would happen to a liberal’s principled opposition to torture if their own immediate loved ones were specifically targeted by Allah’s warriors.

The liberals’ righteous indignation is laughable and deplorable because most of the time it’s in deep hibernation. They only drag out and dust off their scruples when it serves their greater agenda. Where is the noble, courageous Democrat when ACORN is being paid by the DNC to steal elections? Or when Black Panthers are enlisted to be vigilantes with clubs outside a polling station? Or when half the Obama Administration is comprised of tax cheats? Where was an incensed Naomi Wolf or an indignant Kate Michelman when Bubba was debasing himself and his office, exploiting his position of power to use—and then discard—a naive intern for his own gratuitous pleasure? (Hint: principled feminist condemnation was subordinated to the larger approbation of Pro-Choice politics which Slick Willy championed assiduously.)

Political southpaws also love to become moral crusaders when it comes to weightier causes like protecting the imperiled snail darter or Pelosi’s beloved salt marsh mouse; but they seem unperturbed by the systemic abortion of human beings. Hey, why get hung up on such a trivial matter?

These self-appointed pseudo-priests of piety dare to define and safeguard our country’s values but are woefully ignorant or disdainful of its great history which is embedded in and emanates out of the Judaeo-Christian tradition. And it’s precisely those “embarrassing” religious values that define America’s exceptionalism, itself the product of this great spiritual heritage, which “principled” liberals are constantly at war with.

Yesterday North Korea’s Ministry of Truth “accidentally” leaked the transcript from the historic summit between Bill Clinton and Kim Jong “Very” Ill (the meeting known in diplomatic circles as “Bill and Kim’s Bogus Adventure”). It must be noted that this transcript was derived from the taped meeting between the two luminaries where the audio quality was poor and the North Korean interpreter’s responses are, at times, questionable. Here is a portion of that conversation:

Kim: Okay, Bill, we talk “turn-key”.

Bill: Ahh, Kim, I believe the expression is “Let’s talk turkey”.

Kim: You Americans. Everything is about food. We, here in the glorious Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, do not foolishly worry about food!

Bill: [heavy static … transcript redacted]

Kim: Food, food, food! Give me a—I believe your expression is “freaking”—break!

Bill: Your command of urban speech is impressive, Kim. But surely, you must recognize that President Obama has been out there on the world stage apologizing for America’s greed, consumption and imperialism?

Kim: Well, that is a start. So, what concessions do you bring to the table, Bill?

Bill: Well, let me assure you that I’m only here on a humanitarian mission to see that the two American journalists are set free. That, and to provide the emotional support these fine young women need right now, to make myself completely available to them. [Clinton goes on for several minutes, presumably elaborating more and more on his “humanitarian” impulses—but this portion of the transcript has been completely redacted]

Kim: So, then, the rumors are true? You really are a horn dog? You big stud, you!

Bill: Now, now, Kim. You totally misunderstood. Say, just how reliable is that interpreter of yours, anyway?

Kim: No matter, Mr. Willy. So, what are you saying? You have no nuclear secrets to trade?

Bill: With all due respect, Kim, I hardly think that would be appropriate considering…

Kim: But did you not, as the president, sell military technology to the Chinese???!!!!

Bill: Please, Kim, there’s no need to get upset. That whole China business was blown out of proportion by my political enemies at home. You can relate to that, can’t you?

Kim: I have NO political enemies in the glorious Democratic People’s Republic of Korea!

Bill: Okay, okay. I meant no offense. I’m sure we can accommodate your scientists on the nuclear issue. Just give me a little time to work my “Slick Willy” magic with the Pentagon. And, of course, I’ll have to clear it with Hillary.

Kim: Do NOT mention that “school girl” in my glorious presence!!!!!!!! Do NOT dare mention that “pensioner with a shopping bag” again! She dares to call us unruly “children”? Well, she is a [pause] FUNNY LADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [audio suffers at this point from screeching and intense feedback]

Bill: [what sounds like chuckles can be heard over feedback] Hey, Kim, believe me; I feel your pain. [definitive chuckles can now be heard clearly]

Kim: I must ask you. How can you have disgusting sex with such a silly “school girl”?

Bill: [long pregnant pause] Kim, listen carefully; I do NOT have sexual relations with that lady, Ms. Clinton!

Kim: Do not wag your chubby finger in my glorious face!

Bill: Okay, sorry. I get passionate sometimes when I’m speaking the truth.

Kim: Before I release the two American prisoners who are convicted spies and enemies of the Glorious Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, I must demand some token concession from you that will save face and legitimize—vindicate—my glorious reign.

Bill: Kim, I told you, I’m working on those nuclear secrets for you but it will take…

Kim: It is true that I despise that vile, reactionary woman you are married to. Still, she does have excellent taste in pantsuits… Well?

Bill: Done!

And that’s how Special Envoy Bubba brokered the deal freeing the two young American journalists and, possibly, averting a nuclear holocaust.

I confess I must consider myself a “partial birther”. (I can only hope I don't get “partial birther” aborted by Doctor Obama!) Sure, I think most of the theories about Obama’s birth are a little nutty. Conspiracy theorists tend to “see” what they’re looking for. And it’s troubling that many “birthers” are also “9/11 truthers”.

Still, I just can’t seem to dismiss the issue completely. Something about it just keeps eating at me. My understanding is that there’s additional information contained in Obama's actual long-form birth certificate—different from the abridged “certificate of live birth” document—which is “locked up” in a “vault” in the archives. This additional, amplified information about Obama’s birth may—or may not—be embarrassing or compromising. Who knows? But that’s the point.

What bothers me is that Obama’s always bragging about how His administration is more transparent than any other. I could cite a number of cases which disprove this. For starters, there are Joe Biden’s secret meetings, the White House’s refusal to release the visitor logs and Obama’s urgency to advance His agenda regardless of whether or not anybody’s had a chance to read or study the specifics. Obama still hasn’t released His medical records—although He may be forced to under ObamaCare—or His transcripts from Occidental College. His refusal to release His original birth certificate is just one more case that makes a mockery of His boastful claims about being open and upfront. His stubborn refusal to make public this record makes people (like me) wonder just what is He hiding?

Apparently, access to this type of document is not covered by the Freedom of Information Act or, otherwise, somebody would have requested and been granted a glimpse. Still, one would think that the (Dear) Leader of the Free World could, with a little help from the Daley machine or union thugs (if necessary), get His hands on His own original birth certificate.

Of course, even if it were discovered that the circumstance of Obama’s birth was dubious, the point is moot. No court in the land would touch this “constitutional ticking bomb” of attempting to remove a sitting president. The Supreme Court has already refused to review a single appeal brought forth by a number of “birther” plaintiffs. The only recourse would be impeachment. Do we really believe a plenary of Democrat Senators would impeach their blessed Messiah (even if He was tarnished)? Let’s face it, we’re stuck with this Guy.

On the other hand, the truth always matters—and always prevails eventually. I am utterly convinced that Obama is a complete fraud. If He wasn't continually inflated by a slavering media and bolstered by Chicago muscle, His presidency would already be a bad joke. Therefore I would not be surprised at all if His original birth certificate did contain damaging data. It might very well turn out to be the perfect “prank” played on the American voters by this Imposter. I can hear a derisive, juvenile Barry now: “Hey, you dimwits; you've been punked! ”.

The aptly-named “Clunkers For Cash” program, touted as a shinning example of liberal enlightenment, has crashed and burned in the parking lot before it even got on the road. The program, which was funded to run for four months, has gone broke after six days. Maybe Joe Biden was involved in the planning and projections. (After all, he admitted that Team Obama had clearly misjudged the state of the economy’s malaise when they were drafting the Stimulus Plan.)

With the government’s website bogged down and the inept National Highway Safety Administration hamstrung by sticky red tape, frustrated dealerships have to either cover the cost themselves or put orders on hold as they wait to be reimbursed by Uncle Barack. To make matters worse, the EPA keeps resetting the mileage standard that qualifies a particular make and model for the cash payout. One guy in Texas had signed the papers and was waiting for the deal to be finalized when the dealer called to say his trade-in clunker, which had just barely met the EPA’s 18 MPG threshold, no longer qualified because, for some reason, the regulatory agency that protects us from global warming arbitrarily and capriciously raised the standard to 19 MPG. So the dude had to drive his clunker home, polluting all the way.

If this is an example of the genius of “central planning”, the nimble managerial finesse of bureaucracy and sound environmental policy, it doesn’t exactly inspire confidence in the Democrats’ dream of administering—controlling—the health care of every single soul in America. On the other hand, ObamaCare is designed to remove broken down old clunkers like grandpa and grandma from the medical roster.

Of course, the Dems will spin this clunker business into a resounding success, giving them the pretext to “borrow” even more of your money to subsidize the next round. Unlike the rest of Obama’s Stimulus Boondoggle, this program actually did stimulate the economy and car sales because it amounted to, essentially, a tax refund. When government directly gives back to the tax-payer a sizeable portion of his own money—money collected in the first place by confiscatory tax schemes—no wonder it stimulates a market economy.